I felt, for the first time, that I knew what Ayn Rand might have meant when she said something like, "Man must make a choice between life and death every moment of his life." I was sitting at home, eating my lunch when I felt, not for the first time, that I couldn't quite justify my existence; that my daily routine was simply a trick to avoid facing the fact that I had no clue as to what I was supposed to be doing with the rest of my life; that I was merely leading the life of an aimless automaton.
Am I to feel happy about that new program that I saw on the Net the other day? Am I to jump up and down, excited about a white-water rafting trip that I've been contemplating for some time now, and the invitation for which landed in my mailbox today? Am I to feel thrilled about my planned participation in a tennis state-level tournament in January with my neighbour? Or am I to shut the hell up and "just live", as many well-wishers have asked me to?
I don't know. And by not knowing, my torpid state continues unchallenged.
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IMHO the most important thing in life is to define the scope of your life and cling to it like a lifeline.
ReplyDeleteIn "Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy", Douglas Adams describes the ultimate torture device. It is a machine that will show you precisely how important you are in the scheme of things in the universe!
Within the right scope and context, everything can be important. In the context of the universe, nothing is important.
@spdhsmsss: Well, I'd like to agree with you, but the trouble is I am quite unable to define the scope of my life. In fact, I'm not even sure if I know what is meant by "scope" of my life. There you see is the crux of the problem :-(
ReplyDeleteAnd btw, does spdhsmsss stand for the school in which you studied? In that case, do I know you?