L.I.F.E.

I felt, for the first time, that I knew what Ayn Rand might have meant when she said something like, "Man must make a choice between life and death every moment of his life." I was sitting at home, eating my lunch when I felt, not for the first time, that I couldn't quite justify my existence; that my daily routine was simply a trick to avoid facing the fact that I had no clue as to what I was supposed to be doing with the rest of my life; that I was merely leading the life of an aimless automaton.

Am I to feel happy about that new program that I saw on the Net the other day? Am I to jump up and down, excited about a white-water rafting trip that I've been contemplating for some time now, and the invitation for which landed in my mailbox today? Am I to feel thrilled about my planned participation in a tennis state-level tournament in January with my neighbour? Or am I to shut the hell up and "just live", as many well-wishers have asked me to?

I don't know. And by not knowing, my torpid state continues unchallenged.

Sick of "on-site"

These days, it seems that all a colleague can ask you in the course of a discussion about one's job is, "Any on-site chances?" Now, that makes me not only sick but angry as hell! I mean, come on guys, success in a career is not dependent upon the number of times you travel outside your country.

Just for the record, I really like travelling and would love to see new places, people, etc., but that doesn't mean that I am dying to go on-site if the work there is not something I'd enjoy doing. And I won't certainly threaten to quit if I'm not sent on-site; I've got a little bit of professionalism left!

We all join companies with the basic premise that there's going to be something interesting for us to do. Apparently, that's not so for certain people: for them, "it's all money, honey!" One of the main reasons they want to go abroad is the opportunity to add significantly - by way of foreign currency - to their monthly earnings. Yuck! It stinks, and sickens me. I even wonder at times whether I am dirtying myself by being in the same industry as these self-cheapened people. Maybe I should move on elsewhere...