Face the truth

I'd left you last with that cryptic statement, "feelings are automated thoughts." Let me elaborate a bit on that.

When we feel something, it's generally a reaction to something that we are thinking about, or an event that is happening now. It can also result from a recollection of a past event ("happy / sad memories"). Now, let me ask something - what would you feel about an event that's completely unprecedented? An event whose very nature (good / bad, etc.) is still undetermined but with which you're in contact nevertheless? You wouldn't know what to feel, is my guess. And I am willing to bet that the reason for that is you haven't been trained to react to the circumstance in question. In other words, you don't know what to feel! Arguing conversely, we arrive at the stunning conclusion that you can only feel something if you know what feeling is appropriate for the occasion!!

This leaves us with this - that our feelings are not things that pop into our minds uncontrollably; rather, they are thoughts that we think, though without realising that we do so. Most of the time, we don't even realise that we have a choice - to not feel in a particular way. And so it is that we let ourselves down by saying, "I can't help feeling bad about it" when the truth, maybe a difficult one, is that we can feel different if only we choose to do so. No feeling needs to have a vice-like grip on us. We can be happy even when most people would expect us to be sad. A death / separation does not mean that we must feel sad.

P.S:
1. I have no claims to the originality of the above statements. These views have been expressed many times by many people. I am merely trying to simplify things. Have I been successful? I'll let you be the judge.

2. See this - http://www.importanceofphilosophy.com/Epistemology_Emotions.html