That's the question that's been eating me for quite some time now. Having spoken at some length on why it's not exactly necessary to be "good," that should come as a surprise to those of you who put yourselves through the ordeal of reading my rants. I mean, it's an open and shut case and the answer is a clear, unambiguous "No", right? Wrong, it turns out. At least, sometimes.
Okay, let me lay things out in the open: the issue at hand is, "Is it necessary for us to be polite? And if so, with whom? Friends? Or strangers?"
Some of us tend to lose our tempers with those we consider close to us while, amazingly, our fuses seem to grow in length when we deal with strangers. This is more than a little ironic because it's with our loved ones that we must show our patience. I mean, if they mean so much to us, I am sure they're worth a lot more patience, right? At least, I think so.
And then there are others who argue that if we can't be "spontaneous" with those we love, then with whom else are we going to be? To show your anger when you're angry, these people say, is being "spontaneous." There's a certain element of truth in this argument too. So, the question now becomes, "When dealing with close ones, which is more important - to be spontaneous, or to be patient?" Now that's not such a tough nut to crack, is it? The answer, of course, might vary with people, but as far as I am concerned, while it's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice to people I care about. That does not mean accepting whatever they do; all it means is you don't blast them out of existence if you think they're erring.
Go on, you can now thank me for reducing what could have potentially been a dilemma to something that's easily answered. <g>
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Hey! This may or may not be an interesting blog - But I'll never know - cause I can't read it!
ReplyDeleteAs a colour scheme blue on blue is not the most legible. There's a reason the 10 most visited sites on the internet all have a mainly white background, and dark text... Or so I'm told..
Hi Malcolm,
ReplyDeleteYour comment was the last straw that has made me redesign the UI of my blog.
Hope you make your way to my page again and find something that you like to read.
Regards,
The Practical Idealist
Hi. Your site is easy to read now. I never saw it before so whatever you did it's working.
ReplyDeleteI linked to your site through the Langalist newsletter.
I have skimmed through a few of your posts and they seem quite interesting.
I agree that we do seem to be less polite with those we know. Something we should all try hard to correct.
What you said is very true. I often wondered the same about being assertive. Determinedly assertive I mean. Why is it so easier to be assertive with strangers than with our loved ones? Why can't we say No as easily to our family and friends as we do to strangers? There are times when we *have* to be assertive and I often find it's tough for me to say No to people I know well.
ReplyDeleteI lost my temper with my mum yest. It was a momentary spontaneous action and I tried hard to remedy it later. But the damage was done and moreover my aunt was present when it happened. She kept bringing up that outburst of a few seconds again and again. I began regretting the momentary spontaneous outburst and wished I had been more patient. There are times when I have *strongly* advocated spontaneity but in this incident yest I wished I had supressed my impatience and kept quiet instead. No this is not because I care what my aunt thought but because that momentary outburst caused a lot of agony and friction all thru out the day between us.
ReplyDelete-M