To be (polite) or not to be, that's the question

That's the question that's been eating me for quite some time now. Having spoken at some length on why it's not exactly necessary to be "good," that should come as a surprise to those of you who put yourselves through the ordeal of reading my rants. I mean, it's an open and shut case and the answer is a clear, unambiguous "No", right? Wrong, it turns out. At least, sometimes.

Okay, let me lay things out in the open: the issue at hand is, "Is it necessary for us to be polite? And if so, with whom? Friends? Or strangers?"

Some of us tend to lose our tempers with those we consider close to us while, amazingly, our fuses seem to grow in length when we deal with strangers. This is more than a little ironic because it's with our loved ones that we must show our patience. I mean, if they mean so much to us, I am sure they're worth a lot more patience, right? At least, I think so.

And then there are others who argue that if we can't be "spontaneous" with those we love, then with whom else are we going to be? To show your anger when you're angry, these people say, is being "spontaneous." There's a certain element of truth in this argument too. So, the question now becomes, "When dealing with close ones, which is more important - to be spontaneous, or to be patient?" Now that's not such a tough nut to crack, is it? The answer, of course, might vary with people, but as far as I am concerned, while it's nice to be important, it's more important to be nice to people I care about. That does not mean accepting whatever they do; all it means is you don't blast them out of existence if you think they're erring.

Go on, you can now thank me for reducing what could have potentially been a dilemma to something that's easily answered. <g>

What is Good?

In response to my previous post, "Something's wrong here," I had a friend of mine reminding me that there is no such thing as absolute good or bad, that it's only relative. True. Like she said, you'll be able to recognize good only if you know that there is something that's bad. Success is indeed sweeter for those who have never tasted it. Wimbledon may or may not be the greatest of the Slams in tennis, but ask one Mr. Ivan Lendl and he'll tell you why it's the most important tournament to any tennis player. Okay, I got carried away with that last line, but well, you get the idea now, don't you? :-)

The same friend also asked me, "why do you want to be good to others?" My answer to this would be, "It's convenient." Honestly! Being good to others is helpful because you're planting seeds of helpfulness in them, at least towards you. For all the ingrates there are, there is still something to be said for gratitude in today's world. And this can make our life move that much more smoothly. Spiritually, being good to others perhaps increases one's reserve of good karma, but I am not too sure if it really adds much to one's progress on the spiritual path.

One caveat though: Being good simply because it makes things go smoother for you is fine; but do make sure that you want to do whatever you do in the name of goodness. Because doing something sincerely does make a difference - to yourself and others.